Just fell off a train. Bad.
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Randomize
