I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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