I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize