CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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