I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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