So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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