Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
