I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
