What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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