My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
