HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
