I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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