I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I'm both gender and math confused
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
