I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
