He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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