i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize