you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
