Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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