Farmville is her only friend.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Randomize
