Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Randomize
