At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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