everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
