morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
