I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
did i walk over a car last night?
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
