I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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