doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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