I wanna bring you to show and tell
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Randomize
