The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
you made out with another girl for some wings
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize