there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
