My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
last night I used snow as a chaser
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