Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
