hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
how drunk are you?
Several
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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