Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize