We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
