I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
