as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
