There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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