youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
