Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Randomize
