hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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