woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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