You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
