dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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