I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
