ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
And then my night got REAL pukey
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
