come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
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