i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Mom said you looked used
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
