Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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