just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
