Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
