After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Randomize
