you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
operation have a gay friend backfired
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Randomize
