Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
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