one two three fourrrrnication!
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Randomize