I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
