You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
