wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Randomize
