I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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