Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Randomize
