mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
There's always time for handjobs
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Randomize
