your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
